So close yet so far
by jmubaldee24
Summary: It has been six years since Natsume left. What will happen to Mikan? O.o Sorry, I suck in making a summary. But please just read the story
1. Chapter 1

(CHAPTER ONE)

Mikan stretched her hands. It was sure a tiring day. She had just finished cleaning her entire room (Wow! is Mikan becoming more responsible? LOL).

"Mikan-chan! ", a blond-haired man said running towards her. The man still had his eyeglasses and worried face (Well, I guess you already know who it is).

"Inchou! " , Mikan said amiling. "What's wrong?"

"Narumi-sensei wanted to give this to you", he said as he handed her a piece of paper.

Frowning, Mikan took the paper and read it. After a few minutes, she sighed as he placed the paper inside her pocket.

"What's wrong?" Inchou asked as he noticed the look on Mikan's face.

"Narumi-sensei said that he will be going out from the academy for almost a week. So he wants me to become a substitute teacher for all of his classes while he's gone", she answered pouting.

"Well, are you gonna do it?" Inchou asked.

Mikan stared at him for a moment before she nodded. She didn't have a choice right? She sighed again. Then she excused herself. She needed to think on what she'll do now. She a teacher? Not quite good right? How can she be a teacher if she doesn't even know what to do? Narumi-sensei is really mean for giving her this really big responsibility. She could imagine him now laughing (an evil laugh "bwahahaha" then he'll smile and wink at her). She sighed gain. Then she stopped. She didn't even notice that she was already at the academy's forest. She stared at the tree beside her. This is where it first happened. Sadly, she sat at the foot of the tree. This is where she would find _him _sitting when nobody else could find him. This is _his _place. She closed her eyes and inhaled sharply. She was trying to catch even a tiny scent of _him_. Even the slightest thing that would tell her that nothing is true; that he isn't really _gone_!

Before she knew it, she was already crying. She opened her eyes and wiped her face using her hands. Why is she crying? She's not supposed to cry because she's not a kid anymore. It's been 6 years but still, when she'll remember _him_, she can't stop herself from crying. She hugged her knees and rested her head on it as memories rushed back inside her head. This is the exact place where he first called her by her first name. She could still remember. It was their last day of the school festival. And during that night, she danced with almost everyone _except him_. She really wanted to dance with him so she looked around for him. And just as expected, she found him sitting _here_. Alone. She approached him and as usual, he gave her his cold and arrogant attitude. But she insisted and even made her voice angry because he kept on calling her so many funny names. At the end, he called her by her first name and she was so shocked. It was the very first time that she heard him call her by her real name. It was like a melody. She could hear her heart beating louder and faster. She would never forget that night. That was her happiest night and at the same time, that was the night where _everything started_. _The start of her feelings towards him_. She was thinking that after that night, everything will be perfect. But she was wrong. Very, very wrong. Mikan clutched her blouse harder as fresh tears rolled down at the side of her face. She can't take it. The day that he _left_. The pain was too much for her. It is unbearable. For a few minutes, she remained in that position. Then, she rested her head against the trunk of the tree as she closed her eyes again and began to fall asleep. She was hoping that when she wakes up, she would see his cold, arrogant, but handsome face in front of her. And he would tell her that everything was just a bad dream. She hopes so.


	2. Chapter 2

Writer's note:

Hey readers. I'm so sorry that it took me a very long time to post the second chapter of this story. I hope you understand. And by the way, thank you for reading it. I hope you read it up to the end. Aja! So, here it is. (Drum roll) the second chapter! Hope you like it.

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Chapter Two

"Good morning kids!" Mikan greeted her six year old students with a warm smile.

"Good morning teacher!" the students chorused.

Mikan cleared her throat. "So, Narumi-sensei is not around so I will be your teacher for the meantime. Is it okay with you?" she asked smiling.

"Yes!" most of the students said. Most of them were boys, while the girls just stared at her. She could see that there was hatred in their eyes. And for a moment she felt scared.

She forced a smile. "So, let's start our…" but before she could finish what she was saying, a curly blond-haired girl sitting in front of the teacher's desk raised her hand.

"Yes?" Mikan asked.

"Where is Naruni-sensei?" the girl asked.

Mikan could tell that the girl was somewhat irritated and she noted the sweet tone of the girl when she mentioned Narumi-sensei's name.

Instead of being angry, Mikan smiled. She knew that this girl already like Narumi-sensei. Knowing that he has the Human Inclination Pheromone Alice which makes people adored him. Especially girls.

"Naruni-sensei is on travel right now", she answered.

The girl stared at her. She could tell that the girl was doubtful.

"So, what is your relationship with him?" the girl asked.

Mikan could see that this really like Narumi-sensei. And she was taken aback by the question. This little girl thinks that Mikan and Narumi had some sort of special relationship. However, unknown to this little girl, Narumi is Mikan's second dad. Since she doesn't have a father and Narumi doesn't have a daughter, they decided to call each other as father and daughter.

Mikan stared at the little girl for a moment before she answered.

"Well, why don't you ask Narumi-sensei about _it_ when he gets back, hmm?" she said with a smile.

The girl stared at her viciously. She was pouting and at the same time angry. Mikan chuckled to herself. If given a chance, she would like to have a little sister just like this little girl. That would be cute. Really cute.

Then suddenly, she realized that the temperature of the room was decreasing. She blinked and what she saw around really startled her. The whole room was covered in ice. Even the students froze. Mikan stared at the girl in front of her. Then after a while, the girl frowned.

"Why aren't you covered in ice just like them?" the girl wondered.

Mikan smiled. "Because your Alice will never affect me since I have the Nullification Alice"' she answered.

The little girl pouted again. "Hmmph! What a waste", the girl said.

"So, could you bring the room temperature back to normal?" Mikan asked smiling.

This little girl is really cute and arrogant. She's just like…just like…Mikan stopped. She's remembering him again. She closed her eyes and sighed. When she opened them, the ices were gone but her students were chilling and stuttering.

"Okay since you are all not feeling well due to some unlucky incident, we will end our class here" she said.

"Y-Y-Y-e-e-s-s m-m-ma-ma-ma'am" the students said stuttering.

Mikan stared at the little girl who was responsible for all of this. The girl stared back at her for a moment before she looked away.

"I'm sorry" the little said in a very inaudible voice.

Mikan smiled as she patted the head of the girl. "She's really cute", Mikan thought to herself.

After gathering her students, they all went to the clinic.

* * *

Mikan sighed. Her first day as a teacher wasn't just bad that was worst. Because she teased the little girl, the whole class was brought to the clinic. What an unfortunate turn of events for her first day as a teacher.

She was currently sitting at one of the benches of the academy's park. She stared around and saw no one.

"What a peaceful place", she thought as she closed her eyes and relaxes a bit.

After a few moments, she felt someone sat beside her. She inhaled and smelled the very familiar scent. She smiled. She already knows who it was without even opening her eyes.

"Why are you smiling?" the man asked her.

Mikan opened her eyes as she stared at the face of the handsome man beside her. He had been more handsome and masculine now than 6 years ago. But his eyes still reflects the same caring and loving personality of him. And that's what she really liked about him. Even just his mere presence could already bring a warm atmosphere.

"What? Why are you staring at me like that?" the man asked her.

Mikan shrugged. "Nothing", she said smiling. "I'm just thankful to have you in my life. Thank you", she added.

The man took her hand and smiled at her. "I'm more thankful to have you. And you know that I will always be here to support and protect you. Just call me whenever you need me and I'll be there", he said.

"I'm so lucky to have you as…", Mikan hesitated. "As…as…as _my boyfriend_. Thank you…

…_Ruka_", she said smiling. Ruka smiled and hugged her tightly.


	3. Chapter 3

hiya readers. how are you? sorry for the VERRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYY late update. So busy at school. take care mina-san! ;) hope you like this chapter.

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Chapter Three

It was raining. The weather outside seemed to be angry. Mikan just finished taking a hot bath but she wasn't feeling sleepy yet.

"Hmm... what should I do?" she asked herself as she tossed her robe unto the floor and went towards her closet to get her pajamas.

"I wonder if I should go and have a small talk with Hotarou?" she said smiling.

Hotarou is her best friend. They both attended the same school during elementary. That was before Hotarou entered the Alice Academy. And after how many months, Mikan wasn't able to hear any news from her. So, she decided to surprise Hotarou so she went to the Academy. But to her disappointment, nobody is allowed to enter the school except for the students. Luckily, Narumi-sensei helped her and even enrolled her at the academy. And that started her complicated life.

She stared at her reflection in the mirror. She is so skinny and pale for a ten year old girl. She just shrugged then started fixing her hair.

Afterwards, she went out of her room and went to Hotarou's. She was about to knock when she saw the sign posted at the door. It says: "Don't disturb me, especially if your name is MIKAN!"

Mikan sweat dropped. Hotarou sure is so mean. So, she just decided to go to Narumi-sensei's room. And she had been knocking for almost thirty minutes but still, nobody is answering. She just sighed and then decided to go to the student lounge but there was no one there.

"Where are they?" Mikan wondered.

She went to Inchou's, Anna's, Permy's (sumire) room but no one answered her. She was walking towards her room when she remembered Natsume.

Smiling, she walked towards his room. She has been knocking for almost a couple of minutes but he is not answering. She turned the knob and to her shock, it wasn't locked. She opened the door and peeked inside. It was so dark.

"Umm… Natsume?" she called. But nobody answered.

"N-Natsume?" she called again. Still, no one answered.

She looked for the switch and turned on the lights. It seems like no one is here. She went towards his bed. It was neat. She sat at it and stared at the picture at the top of his bed side table. She smiled. It was a photo of Natsume when she was still a kid. However, pain and coldness could be seen on his eyes already. Mikan took the photo and touched Natsume's face. Then, she smiled. After a few minutes, she placed the photo back at the bed side table then stood up.

"Where would Natsume be? It's already 10 pm but he's not still at his room", Mikan wondered.

She went to the window to close the curtains when she saw _him_. She is sure that it's Natsume. She frowned. Natsume is heading towards the forest. What would he do there? Mikan remembered that the rain would not stop until tomorrow. She became worried that Natsume might catch a cold she immediately went and followed him.

The moment she stepped out of the front door of their dorm, she was immediately greeted by ferocious winds, lightning, thunder, and heavy rain. So, she suddenly hesitated to follow him. But then, she's really worried about him so she gathered her courage and went towards the forest even though it's so dangerous.

Upon entering, she couldn't see anything. Until a tiny light illuminated maybe 20 meters in front of her. She went towards it. Then she stopped when she was just 3 meters away from the light which was coming from Natsume's palm. Natsume has his back at Mikan so he was unaware of her presence. Mikan frowned when she noticed that Natsume is carrying a bag. And in front of him is the wall of the academy. As far as she could remember, the wall of the academy is protected by an electric barrier so that students can't sneak out of the academy. She moved closer towards him and she was just 2 meters away from him when she noticed a hole at the wall. Mikan wondered why the school didn't even realize that the wall had been destroyed. Well, maybe the heavy rain and thunder masked the explosion. But what is Natsume doing in here? Maybe Natsume was the one who only notice the explosion so he went here to investigate. Mikan was about to turn her back when realization suddenly hit her!

"No!" Mikan screamed as she ran towards Natsume.

"What the…!"

Natsume fell onto the ground with Mikan on top of him.

"M-Mikan?" he asked shocked when he finally saw her face. "What are you doing here?"

Mikan shook her head. She was already crying. "Please don't leave"

The fierceness in Natsume's eyes was suddenly replaced by pain. He touched Mikan's faced as he closed his eyes. It's as if something is hurting him. She clenched his face then stood up. He picked up his bag and walked towards the wall. He was about to leave when Mikan grabbed his left foot. He stopped.

"Natsume… I'm begging you… please… please don't… please don't leave me!" Mikan said between sobs.

Natsume stared at her. He doesn't like seeing Mikan in this state. He sighed. Then, he kneeled in front of her. Mikan raised her head. Her eyes met his.

"Please stay", she whispered.

"I'm sorry Mikan", he said then he kissed her.

Mikan suddenly felt light-headed. Her gaze became blurred. All she could remember was Natsume carrying her then placed her under a tree. Then Natsume started to walk towards the wall.

"N-Natsume…don't…go" it was all she could whisper as a tear fell at the side of her face before she lost her consciousness.


	4. Chapter 4

**Jmubaldee24:** Ahem… hello readers. Good day! Sorry if I wasn't able to update my story for the past…ummm…months. It's because I was very busy. School stuff *rolled eyes*… Yeah, school is killing me so sorry guys.

**Mikan:** Aww… it's okay jmubaldee24-chan. We understand.

**Natsume:** shut up polka dots. It's not okay. The author is so irresponsible.

**Mikan:** (blushing) NATSUME YOU PERVERT! STOP CALLING ME POLKA DOTS! BAKA!

**Natsume:** (smirks)

**Ruka:** (suddenly appears and saw Mikan) Natsume. What did you do again?

**Natsume:** (shrugged) Nothing.

**Mikan:** (run towards Ruka) waaaaah! Nastume is such an idiot!

**Ruka:** (hugs Mikan) it's okay.

**Natsume:** (irritated) hey polka dots. Stop hugging my bestfriend!

**Mikan:** (angry) shut up BAKA. And stop calling me POLKA DOTS!

**Ruka: **(defensive) Natsume, stop bullying Mikan.

**Natsume:** (Very angry) what now? You're taking her side? *looks at Mikan and Ruka* And stop hugging her!

**Ruka:** (angry) why? What's your problem?

**Natsume:** (very very angry) what now? *creates a fire in his palm* want to fight?

**Ruka: **(very very angry) bring it on!

**Jmubaldee24:** (panicking) guys..guys…calm down. Please stop arguing. Just relax okay? *looked at Ruka then he suddenly stopped and sighed* Sit down and be quiet. *looks at Natsume but he just ignored her* Natsume? *still ignores her*

**Natsume:** (sighing) stupid ugly author.

**Jmubaldee24:** (extremely angry) WHAT DID YOU SAY? NAAAATSSSSSUUUUUMEEEEE! :/ *punched Natsume and he flew outside the earth*

**Ruka:** (sweatdropped) I guess Jmubaldee24-chan is scarier than Natsume when angry.

**Mikan:** (keeps on nodding)

**Jmubaldee24:** (smiling) so…aheemm. Sorry again guys. So, sorry also for making you wait. And here is the chapter four of my story. So, just sit back, relax and start reading it. Hope you like it. ;)

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**Chapter Four**

"Noooo!" Mikan screamed as she woke up.

She blinked and stared around. She sighed. She's in her room. She was sure of it. She looked at the mirror on the right side of her bed and saw her reflection. She was so pale. And moreover, her whole body is covered with sweat. She hugged her knees and began to cry again.

She dreamed of _him_ again. The night that he left the academy… and her. She hadn't been dreaming about it for the past six years until recently. These past nights, she would wake up sweating and crying because of it.

She stood up and went to his room's balcony. When she opened the door, the sun was starting to rise so she was greeted by the mixture of cold and warm air. The wind was blowing her hair so she had to hold it with her left hand to avoid it from covering her face. She then closed her eyes as she felt the rays of the sun caressed her skin. It was really soothing.

"Natsume…" she whispered unto the wind, hoping that he would be able to hear it.

She was on that position when someone knocked on her door. She wasn't able to hear it so the person knocking turned the knob (which Mikan forgot to lock again last night) and just entered the room.

"Mikan?" her boyfriend, Ruka Nogi called her.

Startled by his presence, she opened her eyes and met the eyes of the blond-haired, handsome man standing on her doorway. He was already wearing their school uniform and she could smell his cologne from where she was standing which tempted her to run and hug him. Thankfully, she was able to get that thought out of her head immediately.

Ruka stared at her then he suddenly looked away blushing. That was the time that Mikan suddenly realized that she was still still wearing her night dress. Blushing and at the same time embarrassed, she ran towards the comfort room and started to take a bath before changing into their school uniform.

When she went out from the C.R. , she saw Ruka standing at the balcony where she was standing a while ago. His back was on her so he's not aware that she's staring at him. The sun was like illuminating him. And seeing him like that, he really looked like a god. She smiled. Now, she knows why every girl swoons over him every time they see him.

She walked towards him and that was the time he finally noticed her presence. He stared at her then smiled before hugging her tightly.

"Good morning", he whispered on her ear.

She smiled. "Good morning too", she whispered ack.

Her nostrils were filled with his cologne and she really loved that smell. It soothes her.

They stayed in that position for a couple of minutes before they broke apart.

Ruka cupped Mikan's face and frowned.

"My, my, is my girlfriend having a trouble in sleeping?" he asked staring into her face.

Mikan shook her head.

"Nope. Just having bad dreams", she answered.

Ruka frowned. "Bad dreams? About what?"

"Oh…umm… I don't know. I already forgot. It's not that important so let's just forget it", she lied as she walked towards the table in the middle of her room.

There was freshly baked bread and two cups of milk placed on top of it. Beside the freshly baked bread was a red rose. Mikan took it and smiled. From behind, Ruka hugged her again and kissed her on the side of her neck.

"You like it, hmm?" he asked.

Smiling, Mikan nodded. "Yes. I love it", she answered as she faced him and kissed him on his cheeks. "Thank you."

Ruka cupped Mikan's face. "Mikan…" he whispered as his face went down towards her.

Mikan, knowing what was about to happen, immediately turned her head away.

"Oh… I- I think the bread is delicious. Come on Ruka, let's eat", she said trying to sound cheerful as she walked towards the table and settled into the chair.

Ruka, who was not expecting Mikan to do that, stiffened. For a moment, Mikan was not able to read his expression since his hair is covering his face.

"R-Ruka…?" Mikan called.

She was somewhat feeling guilty for what she did. As a girlfriend, she knew that Ruka has the right to kiss her but she just can't let that happen. She doesn't know why but it feels like her lips is yearning for the another person. It is yearning for the first and last person who kissed her. It is yearning for Natsume.

When Ruka didn't answer her, she was really feeling nervous. Would he get angry at her? Would he break up with her? God, he can't do that. Mikan knew that she is being unfair with him. She doen'st know why Natsume still has this effect on her after all these years. She loves Ruka, She really do. But her heart is also telling her that she also loves Natsume. Drat! She feels sick right now as she suddenly realized these things. She loves Ruka. But she also loves Natsume. Is that even possible? Loving two people at the same time? She guesses it is since that is what's happening to her.

She knew that she had been in love with Natsume six years ago. But she thought that she already lost that feeling when he _left_ her. Then, she suddenly became Ruka's girlfriend. People may not believe it (especially Hotaru) but she really loves Ruka too. He is very sweet, caring, charming and always there beside her. But reality still hits her, there is also Natsume. And after all these years, _she still loves him_. She felt sick right now. She feels like she was already cheating on her. And she doesn't really what to do that. If she could just have amnesia right now and forget everything about Natsume. How she wish that would happen. Unfortunately, that is very impossible and no matter what she do, she should do everything to get those feelings out of her system as soon as possible. She nodded. Right, that is what she has to do right now. She must do it.

She stared at Ruka and saw him still not moving. She really felt guilty. So, she was about to stand up and walk towards him when he suddenly raised his head and smiled at her.

"What was that again?" he asked.

Mikan relaxed. She was glad that Ruka isn't angry at all.

"I said why don't we start eating our breakfast?" she repeated as she gestured towards the food o the table.

**(Author's note: Just so you're wondering why their breakfast is already ready at Mikan's room, it's like the one bringing breakfast into the students' rooms knew that Ruka will be at Mikan's room. FYI Ruka was the one who brought their breakfast while Mikan was taking a bath )**

"Sure", he said smiling as he also settled at a chair opposite to Mikan. "We have to hurry or else we'll be late", he added.

"O-Okay", Mikan said still uneasy.

Then, they ate in silence.

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**Jmubaldee24:** So that was the Chapter Four of my story. Sorry if it's a bit short. hehe. Peace :)


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